What Big Thing is Actually Little?

This is question #4 in Rachel Hollis' book "What if YOU Are the Answer?"

In other words, what seems intimidating, but is really no big deal? For me and anyone who struggles with anxiety, this list of things can be quite long. From making a phone call to being alone in public, there are things that feel like they are a huge deal, and we build them up in our minds. We think they are going to be really hard, or everyone is watching and judging. While I do often feel that way regarding the couple of examples I just shared, today I am focusing on something a little bigger.

My big thing that is actually little - well, maybe not little, but not as huge of a deal as I make it out to be in my mind - is writing this blog and posting my videos. What makes it feel so big? A lot of people watching, me being vulnerable, embarrassment of putting myself out there, fear of scrutiny. I think many people would agree and feel the same way. It can be scary to do this, but when I really think about it, what is the big deal? I think vulnerability is beautiful, and I admire it when others show it, so why not me? Why can't I? Fear of judgement...there are going to be people that judge you, and that's just life. I'm sure we all make judgments on others. Wow that actress chose to wear that outfit? I don't know about that. That athlete is having a really bad last few games. That singer sang very out of tune. Do our judgments cause these people to quit? No. I would say for the most part no. Do they care about the negative feedback? I believe many of them could not care any less, because they are so confident in their abilities. Which I am very envious of, to be honest. Maybe some of them do care and are affected by the comments, but they do it anyway. They show up anyway. How do they do that? Maybe their belief in themselves is bigger than the scrutiny they get from others. Maybe they would rather do what they love and be criticized for it, than do something on a smaller scale that they don't really care about just for the sake of avoiding the negative commentary. Maybe it is difficult for them, but they show up anyway because it's what they were meant to do, and they feel that in their core.

Judgment, criticism, and scrutiny are part of the price of admission, unfortunately. We just need to decide if it's worth the price. Maybe, hopefully, over time we begin to care less and less and less of the negative things people say. Which means their "price" or their "cost" decreases. That's my hope. But for now, I'm going to show up in spite of the fear of scrutiny. If that fear eventually goes away - yay! And if it doesn't - I'll just keep showing up afraid.

They say as you get older, you care less about what people think. I think I'm getting there. I hope I continue to make progress in that area because I don't know what else to do other than get exposure to the fear. I feel like this is part of what I'm meant to be doing, but at the same time, if it's what I'm meant to do, why do I feel so afraid? Why do I care so much about what others think? These are my philosophical questions I frequently ponder. We're all just out here trying to be ourselves and do our own thing, so it shouldn't really matter what others think.

Think about if you have something that feels big but is actually not that big. Write down some ideas, think about why it feels so big to you. A lot of times we build things up in our minds, and the idea or feelings we start associating it with are all in our head. When we actually go to do the thing, we may find it's not really that bad.